I really want Mac ‘n’ Cheese… Am I pregnant?

By my paranoid logic, this is entirely plausible. Yesterday (Tuesday), I realized that I had forgotten to take my pill on Monday. I’m a fucking ninja at preventing pregnancy, so I obviously doubled up yesterday. Last night was what I like to call “Target Date Night,” because nothing is more of a turn-on for me than Taco Tuesday at our local Mex-American cantina, followed by grocery shopping with your significant other who will start to get cranky about still being at Target around minute 45, and being home by 9 to meal prep for the following day with your new groceries. I bought all the ingredients to make a favorite crock pot recipe: Spicy Southern Bacon Mac n’ Cheese, which I have added to our weekend agenda. I also bought Kraft Mac n’ Cheese because I obviously hate myself and don’t care what happens to my insides.

Then today, someone in my office was heating up something cheesy, and all I could think about was Mac ‘n’ Cheese. So on my lunch break, I walked over the restaurant across the street to purchase some Mac ‘n’ Cheese. Much to my disappointment, it was not all that satisfying, in that there was far too much mac and not nearly enough cheese. I do not generally have food addictions, except to good salsa. I could eat my weight in chips and salsa.

I expressed my irrational concerns to Harrison via Skype chat today. He responded with “Are you really concerned about this? Should we check on this?” Then I thought about the timeline and realized I’m insane. I would not have become with child, and started craving noodles and cheese all in the course of 48 hours. So the conclusion of this story is that I’m having a momentary loss of all logical thought, which includes a temporary addiction to Macaroni and Cheese and fear of pregnancy, despite knowing how that shit works.

Ahhh yeeaaahhh…

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