Do you guys remember those Myspace iPod shuffle surveys? They are all over the damn internet. STILL! This is totally what I did on Saturday while I was safe in my apartment from the plethora of idiots falling down drunk celebrating a holiday that has is still days away.
I used my Spotify playlist because who has an iPod anymore? I don’t think I’ve added anything to my iTunes library in about 5 years.
Complete with commentary…here’s my sort of grown-up, sort of hipster, mopey folk and weird indie rock Myspace shuffle survey. I think there’s some poppy shit in there, too. Maybe you can get some good music suggestions, and I can feel like something good came out of my wasted Saturday night.
How are you today?
Movement and Location- Punch Brothers
If this means I’ve been out and about a lot today, that is correct.
How old are you?
Still Trying- Nathaniel Rateliff
Ah fuck, that’s more accurate than necessary. The hook in this song says “I don’t know a God damn thing, which is basically how I feel all the time.
Do you like candy?
You’ve Haunted Me All My Life- Death Cab for Cutie
That stupid sweet tooth of mine is a day ruiner.
What’s your favorite color?
Landed- Ben Folds
That’s not a color, and it makes no sense. Why am I doing this?
Are you a boy or girl?
We the Common- Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
I could take this to a really weird feminist place.
What makes you happy?
Let’s Be Still- The Head and the Heart
This song and sitting around doing nothing make me incredibly happy. This is basically the perfect answer.
What do I smell like?
Soft Shock- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
This sounds gross.
What do I miss right now?
Destination- Nickel Creek
I think this means I need to travel.
Am I keeping too many secrets?
The Hills- The Weeknd
So that’s a yes. Have you heard this song? This is what secrets sound like.
How old am I?
Chocolate- The 1975
Chocolate’s a good answer for anything.
How often does my mood change?
I And Love And You- The Avett Brothers
So a lot? Or Never?
The Chain- Ingrid Michaelson
That’s a bit grim.
Where are you going?
Brainy- The National
I’m on a quest for knowledge. Clearly.
Where is my love life at right now?
I don’t even know what to say to that. I’ll just sit here and weep until the next song starts.
What type of weather is my favorite?
All My Days- Alexi Murdoch
Is my heart broken?
Help I’m Alive- Metric
I feel like this means that if your heart is beating at all, it may very likely be a little broken. Deep, right?
Am I mean?
Amsterdan- Gregory Alan Isakov
That’s a very nice song, so I’m not mean.
Do I want a drink right now?
Tennessee Whiskey- Chris Stapleton
Perfect. Pardon me while I see what I have in the fridge.
What was the last words I said?
No One- Alicia Keys
Whens the last time you cried?
This may mean I’m due for a good cry.
What’s my favorite food?
Phenomenon- Dr. Dog
If there was a food called ‘phenomenon,’ I’d probably eat it out of pure curiosity.
Have you ever done drugs?
Gravity- Sarah Bareilles
This damn song is my drug. LOVE. IT.
Say something scientific.
Take Back the Night- Justin Timberlake
Not scientific in the slightest.
Are you afraid of bugs?
Murder in the City- The Avett Brothers
As a person who has experienced Bed Bugs before, this is appropriate.
Whats my most favorite body position?
Love on Top- Beyonce
Spotify is a pervert.
Do I like shoes?
Bird of Prey- Natalie Prass
I have no idea…
Have you ever been starstruck?
How to Win- Nathaniel Rateliff
I lose interest in this about every 5 questions.
What are people’s first impressions of me?
Satisfy Me- Anderson East I doubt it, but thanks.
Will I get married?
Howling at Nothing- Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats
So that’s a no?
Do you believe in heaven?
I Choose You- Sara Bareilles
I don’t know about Heaven, but I believe in this song. God Damnit, I love Sara Bareilles.
Have you ever sung a love song to someone?
I Blew It Off- Punch Brothers
That’s actually really funny.
Do you like storms?
West Coast- Coconut Records
Did you guys know Jason Schwartzman is in this band? Makes sense, right?
Whats was the last activity I did?
Empire State of Mind- Jay Z
I was just looking for vintage postcards of New York and other places we’ve been, so sorta.
Is someone coming for me?
Lonesome- Dr. Dog
What exactly does ‘coming for me’ mean?
Are you a virgin?
Fight Song- Rachel Platten
I could take this to a really fucked up place.
Do you like politics?
Mr. November- The National
That’s a strangely political song title.
Do I like happy endings?
Do I Wanna Know?- Arctic Monkeys
I think this is trying to tell me that I like not knowing anything, which is not at all true.
Am I free?
Eet- Regina Spektor
That’s not a real word.
Do you believe in superman?
The Breeze- Dr. Dog
Superman creates a breeze right? Because he flies? I’m not sure what I’m getting at here.
Whens the last time you partied?
Into the Wild- LP
A really long time ago is what that means.
Have you ever bought someone flowers?
Bow and Arrow- Reuben And The Dark
I think that means I’m secretly Cupid. And that’s obviously a lie.
Do you own a car?
Basket Case- Sara Barielles
Does this mean I’m crazy for not owning a car?
What do I look like?
Zero- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Fuck you, Spotify. Rude.
Am I sick?
The Eye – Brandi Carlile
Sickness of the eye?
What do most people find attractive about me?
Hysteric- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I feel like I’m being insulted.
What song describes me?
Nobody Dies- Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
Story of your life?
Black Sun- Death Cab for Cutie
Name a random song.
Lost Cause- Beck
That’s because this is what I do on Saturday Nights. I’m a lost cause.
Are you bored?
Numb It- HoneyHoney
Christ, this is depressing.
Will I get far in life?
Heartbeats- Jose Gonzalez
I do have those.
How do friends see me?
Cool Kids – Echosmith
Fuck. Yes. That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Spotify!
Whats my parents theme song?
A Long Time- Mayer Hawthorne
This is a pretty rad song to be a theme song for parents.
Whats my pets theme song?
Birth In Reverse- St. Vincent That’s just bizarre.
Whats my funeral song?
Delicate- Damien Rice
This song gets to me every damn time.
Will I have children?
Smooth Sailing- Leon Bridges
That better mean no.
Move Together- James Bay
This song is about banging, so probably ignore this… unless banging is on your agenda this evening.
Am I happy with myself?
Spotify giveth; Spotify taketh away. Spotify is an asshole.
Whats my motto?
Flightless Bird, American Mouth- Iron & Wine
Will I ever find love?
Do It, Try It- M83
Already did it and tried it. We’re good.