Dear everyone, please shut up.


Harrison and I celebrated 5 years together last week. We celebrated with cheap Mexican food and a liter of Margaritas. We’re just about the fanciest people I know. We are pretty relaxed about most things in our relationship. Yes, 5 years is a big deal, but talk to me when we hit 50. Even so, I often post a little something on Facebook to mark each year together. I try to make it clever and unique to who we are as people and as a couple. I’ll admit, maybe posting things on Facebook opens me up to comments of the ignorant kind. However, we would all be well-served to think before we post.

One of the things that pisses me off most when people comment on my relationship is when people ask, “When are you getting married?”  “When’s the wedding?” “Why aren’t you married yet?” If you have any of those questions for me, please keep it to yourself. I don’t owe anyone an explanation, and it’s none of your business, especially if the extent of our relationship is that we used to work a crap retail job together, and/or I don’t like you that much, and I am too lazy to delete you from my list of Facebook friends.



My response was snarky enough, but it did not capture the level of rage I was feeling when I read that comment. What I actually wanted to say would have actually been something like this:

Well, that is some excellent feedback on my relationship that is not yours and none of your business. I will certainly take that into consideration, except fuck off, and no I won’t. I’m not sure what makes you think you have any superior knowledge giving you the right to comment on what I should or should not be doing in my relationship or my life. I’m sure this comes from a good place, but seriously, stop it.

Also, aren’t you currently pregnant? I don’t recall seeing any wedding photos before baby bump photos. Maybe you did get married or maybe you’re “common law,”and I don’t know about it. Guess what? I don’t care! I don’t care because this isn’t 1955. It’s 2016, and in 2016, you can do whatever the hell you want! You can have a kid out of wedlock without an uproar; you can stay with someone for 100 years without ever getting married. It’s a beautiful thing!

Not that it’s any of your business, but we’ve talked about what we want should we decide to get married. However, I don’t need a white dress, a party where a bunch of relatives I don’t know start asking me when I’m going to have kids, or a piece of paper to know that we are committed to each other. Neither Harrison or myself feel like we need to “lock it down.” We’re happy the way things are. We have a life together, and we aren’t going anywhere. Eventually, when I feel like planning a stupid wedding would be less of a pain in the ass and more of an actual celebration, maybe we’ll do the thing. For now, we’re good, and please keep your commentary to yourself.

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