Maybe when I have all the money, I’ll care about close seats, too.

Me: Do you want to go to the Nuggets game on March 2nd? I can get $14 tickets through work.

Dad: Where are the seats?

Here we go.

Me: In the 300s. They’re $14.

Dad: We want to go, but we would want to sit closer.

WHY DOES IT MATTER? IS IT AN OLD PERSON VISION THING?!?! THERE’S A JUMBO-TRON! Also DAD, I have to have fun on a budget because of those student loans I’m paying because of that college you thought I should have to pay for literally for the rest of my life because of bootstraps or something. 

Me: I didn’t look at the price of those. I’ll check.

Dad: Okay, well if you and Harrison want to go and the tickets are more expensive, you can just pay me the $14, and I’ll cover the rest.

I’m a 32 year old woman with a job and am about to agree to allow my dad to subsidize a closer seat to a Nuggets game.

Me: They’re $57.

Yikes.

Dad: Let’s do it.

Okay………… That’ll be $200.

The difference between Boomers and Millennials is how close they care to be to the court.

 

Professional networking is my personal hell

If there is one thing I’ve learned from people I know who have found new career opportunities, it’s that those opportunities have come to them through a connection they’ve made. I have heard no less than 2 people in the last month say, “This just kind of fell in my lap.”

WHAT?! HOW?!!!!

My lap covers some territory, and I’m not over here catching any specks of good fortune on the career front.

My stepmom always says, “You have to get in front of the right people.”

Well, shit.

I don’t exactly love being in front of people or being the center of attention. My most comfortable state is completely alone, anonymous, observing rather than participating. I recently took a personality test that put me at 86% Introvert and only 14% Extrovert. Basically, 14% of the time I want to be with other humans, and that sounds…uh…correct.

When I’m not at work, you might find me watching TV or reading a book alone. I prefer to run errands alone. I prefer to shop alone, and am often reminded of this whenever I invite a friend to the mall with me because I’ve forgotten how much I dislike shopping with other people. I go to yoga alone and speak to no one except when I give the teacher my name at the front desk.

My dudes and dudettes, this level of introversion is not a joke.

Harrison used to ask me, “Is this really all you’re going to do tonight?” as he leaves me on the couch with a book or a very deep Netflix queue on a Friday night to go to (probably) a comedy show or open mic. Then he stopped asking because my answer was always, “YES.”  Harrison spends a lot of evenings out at open mics, so our relationship has been incredibly accommodating. Some might say enabling.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I have a new friend who is constantly inviting me to get involved in things despite her own innate inclination to stay home. And as much as I don’t want to, I know I need to.

I spent the last two evenings at engagements geared toward young professionals with her. One of them is actually a choir, and I’m legit excited about that. I loved singing in choirs when I was younger, and at least I’m in a room with people working toward a common goal. The singing part I can handle, but the conversing with fellow singers is the hard part.

The other event was a happy hour for young professional at a fancy hotel bar and um, it was the worst.

First of all, I’m not fancy, and I always feel out of place in those environments. I own exactly one blazer that I think I’ve worn exactly twice. At a young professionals happy hour, you better bring your blazer. I am also THE MOST AWKWARD. I’m bad at starting conversations, and I am really terrible and feigning interest in things that I find absolutely dull. I wear my heart on my face. Eye contact with strangers? Lol. Please. I usually find myself following around the one person I know trying to interject myself in their conversations and doing a very bad job of it.

Introversion is not a condition that needs to be cured, but damn it’s hard to be an introvert in a world that places so much value the charismatic and gregarious over the quiet observers.

I’ll just be over here…tired from all the people-y stuff I’ve had to do and wishing I were at home.

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Via GIPHY

 

Revisiting 2018

What did you do in 2018 that you’ve never done before?

Visited Seattle.

Aerial Yoga, which I do not believe I will be partaking in again. Seriously, this frame is not meant to be held by silk ribbons. I had bruises just above my ass for several days.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Here’s the thing: I do not remember if I made any resolutions next year, and knowing myself, they were some loose suggestions for living at best.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

All three of my parents’ goats had babies this year. While you may be thinking, “That does not count silly lady!” I have been waiting for someone to make me an aunt for a long time, and I will be happy to settle for goats. Baby goats are cuter than baby humans. Fight me.

Did anyone close to you die?

No… let’s keep this streak going, shall we.

What places did you visit?

Portland, OR

Cannon Beach, OR

San Diego, CA

Montrose, CO

Seattle, WA

NYC

Fremont Troll. Seattle.

What would you like to have in 2019 that you didn’t have in 2018?

I’m sometimes concerned that my general feeling of contentment is actually just laziness. I’m mostly fine, I would like to be able to say that I accomplished something at the end of next year.

What dates from 2018 will be etched in your memory forever?

February 14th – The Parkland shooting

August 12th – The day we finally moved into an apartment that doesn’t suck.

December 13th – The day I’ve been referring to as Michelle Obama day. I went to her book tour at a packed Pepsi Center and I’ll start the new year reading her book.

What was your biggest achievement this year?

That baked tofu dish I made. Do you know how hard it is to make non-weird tofu?

I also read 25 books this year, which I feel is am important accomplishment to note, due to the nose-in-air scoffs I get from people upon learning how much television I watch. I WILL NOT BE SHAMED. This is the golden age of television and I AM ALSO VERY LITERATE.

What was your biggest failure?

I currently hold the same position that I did a year ago…and the year before that. It’s not all bad. I work with good people, I don’t have much of a commute, I’m considered a leader (albeit without the title or pay) and holding a job for this long has provided me with financial stability I never knew as a child or in college, despite my Kilimanjaro size mountain of student loans. I am really just tired of feeling like I have someone looking over my shoulder constantly. I’m ready for more autonomy and to have more control over my time. I don’t want to have to make sure my boss knows that occasionally I cut out of work a little early to get to yoga class. I’m an adult, and I’m good at my job. I’d like to not be on a leash to a cubicle anymore. To be continued…

Did you suffer from illness or injury?

Ever heard of a ganglion cyst? Not technically an injury, but very annoying.

What was the best thing you bought?

I got an antique school desk for a STEAL at a shop on South Broadway. I adore it.

Where did most of your money go?

Food. Always food.

What did you get really, really excited about?

The T.LT. at True Food Kitchen

Harbor Seals

Lizzo

A St. Bernard named Apollo

What song will always remind you of 2018?

If anyone claims the song of this year is not Bohemian Rhapsody, I would like for them to explain themselves.

Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer?

I’m equally happy. Although if you had asked me like 6 months ago, that answer would be much different

I might be barely thinner. My pants are falling off of me, but one pant size smaller is still too small.

Okay, I think actually richer. Maybe. I’m bad at this. We have more in savings, and I have been making coffee at home since we moved. That makes a huge difference over time. Also, do you have any idea how much less you spend on groceries over a year when you don’t eat meat?

Off to find One-eyed Willie’s treasure.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Hmmm… Yoga. I’ve been a pretty consistent yoga practitioner for the last couple of years. I think my next step is to work on a better home practice.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had done less beating myself up. I spent a lot of time doing that.

How did you spend Christmas?

We made our annual trek to New York to see Harrison’s family.

What was your favorite TV program?

Nothing makes me laugh as much as Will & Grace does. Nothing.

What was the best book you read?

It’s a tie. “All Over The Place” by Geraldine DeRuiter and “Tragendy plus Time” by Adam Cayton-Holland.

What did you want that you got?

An apartment that isn’t falling apart and doesn’t feel like a dungeon. It is amazing what some big windows can do for a mood. With our move, we also got a new mattress.

What did you want and not get?

A new job.

What was your favorite film of 2018?

Oh man. It was a good movie year for me. I have to say Blindspotting, which I’m disappointed did not get more attention. Obama put it on his list. He knows what’s up.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

32! I woke up and went to work. Unfortunately. I did take the next day off to relax before going to Michelle Obama’s book tour.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

What’s happening with this Mueller thing? Can we get that show on the road please? I mean, WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?

Who kept you sane?

Harrison. Always Harrison. Although, there were a few times this year that he contributed to a decrease in sanity.

Who did you miss?

I really wish my brother and sister-in-law were closer. Maybe someday.

Who was the best new person you met?

I’ll just call her the other Whitney. She’s a sister of a long-time acquaintance, and for some reason, she seems to enjoy me. She’s a good influence and makes me do outside my comfort zone shit.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.

Alone can be kinda nice and not at all lonely.

Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

This moment was just joy for me. Joy.

Seals!

No I do not want to join your book club

Am I the only reader who wants nothing to do with book clubs? This is a serious question. I love to read, and I love books. But I hate book clubs. Yet, I repeatedly get asked to join book clubs, and I feel like a jerk for repeatedly declining. Then Harrison tells me I’m spending too much time reacting to being invited to join yet another book club.

I recently read a book along with a group of co-workers, and it was mostly fine, except that I finished the book before everyone else because I don’t like to read more than one book at a time (with the exception of my “in-between” book that I read when I’m waiting for something to be available at the library), and subsequently I finished the book before the rest of the group because the rest of the group decided they wanted a month and a half to read 100 pages. 

Reading is my loner, introvert activity. It always has been. Even when I was a kid, I remember sitting by the window reading a book while my sister played outside with the neighbors. It’s one of those few things that I can do completely on my terms. I choose the book and how quickly I read it, and the experience I have reading the book is completely my own. I don’t have to talk about it with anyone or be influenced by someone else’s experience. Most importantly, I do not have to leave my house to discuss the book with anyone else. I’m just particular about this one thing, I guess.

So again I ask, am I really the only reader who does not like book clubs?

I’m currently leaking ink

I got a tattooooooo!

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This is what it looks like when I spend an irresponsible amount of money, but hey, when you’ve been fantasizing about something for years, it might be time to pull the trigger.

A few years ago, I went to Portland when Harrison and I were going through a tough time and were unsure if we were going to stay together. One of us needed to remove ourselves from the situation. I was in Portland alone for a couple days and then a friend met me there. It rained so much. It poured every day that I was there. I came armed with my umbrella and carrying a broken spirit. As much as I love Denver, Portland was there when I needed it. I found my independence again in those days that I was alone navigating a new city in the rain. In the past, I’ve used rain as a metaphor for feelings. You can’t ignore them. You might be able to shield yourself a bit with the help of a good friend or an everyday distraction. In a downpour, an umbrella might help, but you will get wet no matter how much you try to avoid it. Feel your feelings; feel the rain.

I still love Portland, and this year, Harrison and I were able to enjoy the city together.

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If you’re in the Denver area and looking for some excellent tattoo artists, check out Certified Customs. You can also check them out on Instagram.

 

 

 

 

I don’t have to be okay with this, but I still have hope.

A few days after the 2008 election, I got a tattoo. The tattoo says, “There has never been anything false about hope,” and it’s followed by Barack Obama’s signature. The quote is from a speech he gave after losing the New Hampshire Primary to Hillary Clinton. For the record, I have tremendous respect for Hillary Clinton, and I did then as well. I never understood the vicious contempt for her. But Obama was my guy starting in 2004 when he spoke at the DNC.

I don’t know how many people told me I would regret my tattoo. I don’t. In fact, it’s my favorite of the four tattoos I have.

I am not okay with what’s about to happen tomorrow. I was upset and frustrated in 2004 when Kerry lost to Bush, but I was not afraid that we’d be blown to smithereens because the president pissed someone off via Twitter. Seriously, can someone make him stop with that crap? It’s embarrassing, and it’s dangerous. And that is only one tiny slice of what I’m afraid of.

I’m afraid for our public schools and teachers.

I’m afraid for minorities and immigrants.

I’m afraid that women who are victims of sex assault will be even less likely to come forward because there’s a perpetrator in the White House.

I’m afraid that my LGBT friends will lose some of the protections they’ve acquired under the Obama Administration.

I’m afraid I’ll lose my free and easy access to contraception along with millions of other women.

I’m afraid these same women will lose access to abortion.

I’m afraid for the environment—that the regulations that have helped us make progress on climate change will be rolled back.

I’m afraid I’ll lose my income-based student loan repayments.

I’m not afraid or sensitive to these issues because I’m a liberal snowflake. That’s a stupid term, and considering how hurt some of my more conservative friends were when Meryl Streep proclaimed that football and MMA are not the arts, I think the “snowflake” term might be inappropriately placed.

I’m afraid because I believe in empathy and humanity and that America is losing these. Boots in asses is not the American way no matter how much Toby Keith insists. That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. And of course that guy was one of the only people who agreed to play the inauguration. Of course he was. In today’s ‘no shit’ news, Toby Keith is playing Trump’s inauguration. Oh and also Lee Greenwood. Duh.

We have fear for a reason. Fear ignites action. So don’t think for one second that I will not be here for the next 4 years calling out hypocrisy and hate and transforming this fear into action. I will be here because I still have hope, and I have a reminder of that etched into my skin.

Thank you President Obama.

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I feel ya, girl. (I have no idea where this came from, but it’s perfect. Thanks to whoever the artist is.)

About 2016

I’m aware 2016 is over and posting this now is annoying. I completed it (mostly) in 2016.

I’m really bad about taking time to reflect and remember things, whether it’s a period of time, an event, a book. I was thinking about the year, and I decided I needed some guidance. I found a series of questions online, and I thought it was kinda fun.

What did you do in 2016 that you’ve never done before?

I went to Austin and saw a bunch of bats fly at dusk. I traveled for work like a true grown-up. I saw the Grand Canyon! That was super rad.

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Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t really make any New Year’s Resolutions. At least that’s not what I called them. I said I wanted to read more, do more yoga, and unplug more often. Check. Check. And I’ll work on that last one.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope! I have like-minded friends.

Did anyone close to you die?

Harrison’s grandmother died. I had only met her once, but that still sucked. Hopefully, everyone close to me will also make it through this year unscathed.

What places did you visit?

Austin, TX

Arizona- Sedona, Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest.

Atlanta, GA

NYC

What would you like to have in 2017 that you didn’t have in 2016?

Clear skin. I’ve never had that at any point in my life, though. I’m not holding my breath.

What dates from 2016 will be etched in your memory forever?

August 7th – My brother’s wedding

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July 17th– This was the night I ugly cried solidly through the first 3 songs at Adele’s concert in Denver.

June 12th– The shooting at Pulse Nightclub

May 12th– The night I went to a celebration of Prince’s life at Film on the Rocks at Red Rocks. Some of the best musicians in Denver played his songs, and my dad recited the whole movie as we watched it.

What was your biggest achievement this year?

Sticking to something. Yoga. It’s been a long time since I found something I wanted to dive into so much.

What was your biggest failure?

Maybe that the cushion in my bank account shrunk quite a bit. Moving was expensive, and I also need to get my shit together on that front. I’m working on making some spending changes like meal prepping to avoid eating out so much and making coffee at home in the morning instead of buying it.

Did you suffer from illness or injury?

Only a stress-induced cold, and I think I broke my pinky toe for about the 5th time.

What was the best thing you bought?

It’s a tie between my yoga mat and my yoga membership for sure.

Where did most of your money go?

Food. Always food. This is why I need to make some changes, people. Please don’t invite me to dinner.

What did you get really, really excited about?

Every show I went to this year whether it was music, comedy, theater. Live entertainment excites me every time.

Also, yoga.

What song will always remind you of 2016?

Purple Mothafuckin’ Rain.

I wasn’t born when it originally came out, okay!!

Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer?

I am happier for sure.

Can we stop asking people about weight gain or loss, please? It isn’t everything. Love yourself. How about I’m basically the same size, I’m healthy, and I’m a lot stronger. Seriously, feel my biceps.

I’m probably poorer unfortunately. Maybe richer if we consider my 401k. At least I still contribute that that thing.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had continued to look for a new job. I get lazy and complacent very easily because job-searching blows.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work. I have a lot of vacation time in the bank for a reason.

How did you spend Christmas?

Harrison and I went to New York to visit his family where I met a very racist aunt. That was almost the most uncomfortable experience of the year. But the rest of it was nice. We hung out with his family, went into the city a few days. We went to the Whitney Museum (of course). We saw Chris Gethard’s one-man show, which is incredibly moving. Thank goodness he is a human who exists on this planet. The last night of our trip, we went to a show at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater where Janeane Garofalo happened to be on the line-up! Janeane!!!! I love her.

What was your favorite TV program?

Ah shiiiittt… So many. I love television. Stranger Things. Duh. You’re the Worst is hilarious. The Night Of. Ah… so good. Season 2 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt was SO funny.

What was the best book you read?

“Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson. Hands down.

What did you want that you got?

A good yoga mat.

What did you want and not get?

A new tattoo. Maybe this year.

What was your favorite film of 2016?

Room was excellent. I also just saw Fences. Holy shit. Amazing. Viola Davis is phenomenal in that movie.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

30, bitches!!! I took the day off work. Harrison brought me breakfast, we went to a Yin Yoga class, saw a movie, and had dinner with my parents.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If Hillary Clinton had been elected instead of that almost illiterate shit stain on humanity, this year may have only been a small dumpster fire rather than the explosion of rotting garbage it was.

Who kept you sane?

Harrison. It’s always Harrison.

Who did you miss?

I miss my friend who is in law school in Cleveland all the time. She’s one of the smartest, toughest, and sanest people I know.

Who was the best new person you met?

I’m bad at meeting people. #introvertproblems

I think a few of Harrison’s comic friends are pretty cool.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

This is an excerpt from a post about yoga from a few months back. I’d say this about sums it up.

“What I’ve realized in the last few months is that being nice does doesn’t mean that you can’t have boundaries, and being open is not same thing as being naïve. Being happy does not mean you can’t take time to recognize the unhappy feelings. Being positive does not mean that you can’t also be realistic and logical.”

Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

This isn’t a great picture, but this was a special experience. This was a vigil held at Cheesman Park in Denver at the shooting at Pulse Nightclub. They were expecting about 50 people, but even through the rain, the crowd of people who gathered to send their love to Orlando was incredible.

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